The Most Verbose Loss of Words

You know that feeling when you have so much on your mind, you feel like it's just going to explode? Then, it gets worse when everything sounds good but you can't decide on what that something is. After that, you try and motivate yourself and put your mind to something, but that doesn't work because everything you were working on just gets pushed back by the lingering thoughts. I know this feeling a bit too much. Wishing everything would halt for a minute, just so I could breathe in a natural, calm thought is the focal point. But, of course, that gets pushed back, too. So much is on your brain at once, you can't catch a complete thought.
I want to write a story that--I want to draw this photogr--I wish I could be held so closely by--I need to finish my book before--It's a nice night to live.
Recently, I was asked what I want to do with my life, and where I want to be in ten years. The only thing I could even think was, "I haven't a clue." Ever since I could remember, I've been changing my future. I remember the school asking what I wanted to be when I grew up way back in kindergarten. I drew a fucking police officer. Personally, I despise cops. Personally, I'd kill myself if I turned out a cop in the future. I used to want to be a musician. Then I got into writing. Of course, next, I wanted to be an author. Then I found photography as a passion. I'd love to do something with photography. I think... I mean, at one point, I wanted to be the co-owner of a record studio with my best friend in Colorado. Quite an imagination I've had.
I've been giving up too easily on things, and I'm not quite sure why. I've always thought that you can do anything. You just have to try. You have to set yourself to it. Within moderation of course. I feel like I've been a let down to myself. I look at my work, and then I look at others. I feel incapable of doing something astonishing like them. I wanna be somebody. In this world, only after death will one gain recognition and full accomplishment. The nirvana of fame. True notoriety.
But whatever...it's just another day in my life. Living, breathing, existing in my Zark World. Thus concludes my rant...