Realization

I have been prodding myself to write, but I just haven't had it in me. I have been going through so much lately that I think it wise to stay low. My head hurts from all the tantrums. This isn't something of constant bitching. I have just gotten a little better with my mental state. Not sure how long for, but I hope it is long enough to write something worthwhile. I have been reading a lot more lately, which is somewhat surprising. I have decided many things as well. I have a few ideas in my head I have been tossing around with my future. Some of which you may of heard. Only a select few, though. I can't decide between the ideas. Hopefully it will clear up soon enough. That break I had in my life is over. I am applying myself to the world. I hope I can commit to this. A lot of people have never believed in me, but it is because I don't apply myself. Few know the true Zark. My little vacation to the New England area gave me a realization. I need to step up. College is an idea. (Shock right?) Jared and Michelle Trottier made me think about stuff. I need to snap my diet into a healthy state. I need to get my grades straightened out. Along with reading literature, if you saw one of my recent bulletins, than you would notice there were quotes. Some of them meant more than anything to me. It made me think a lot about life. If you can get me to think, then you have accomplished something. Being able to create an alternate universe in my brain because you said something to me. That's the greatest gift. You have given me the greatest inspirations. I hope that one day if I become a successful artist, I will be allowed to thank you. Everything in my life is starting to, I guess, make some sense. And most of my friends are to thank. This is where I start to write. If you have read this far, maybe you should keep reading.

You can only realize so much. With all the other things in the world, causing havoc around the world, why bother to notice it all? We only care about the things close to us. When seeking a relationship, you are searching for yourself in others. Not wise. Yes, having things in common are great, but never should you want to date someone exactly like yourself. People smile at things going wrong. Everyone does. It isn't a mistake, but it is a bad habit. Watching someone rack themselves over and over again. Gawking at a car crash. Put yourself in that position and think about how people gazing from every direction would make you feel. I'm not out to change you or the world, but I just wish you would understand. Think before you speak. It's for the best in all of us. I will admit I have made awful mistakes, some that I regret others that I could care less about. But I still consider myself a pretty civil person at times. I'm not trying to brag. I mean you judge yourself harder than anyone else ever could. You may be too modest or even too cocky. Just think about someone else other than yourself sometimes. It's the nice thing to do, I suppose. Sometimes I wish I could make people think the way I thought. Not to confuse them, but to show them that I am not just a pushover who could care the least for anything, but how complex my mind is. I never stop thinking about what I may write. Whether it be music or words. Sometimes, everything may become clear once you take a step back an look at it all. Most of the time it will. Maybe it could make things worse. You be the judge. Realize you are not the center of the world. Not everyone cares for or about you. You are not the world's best friend.