Speak the Truth Even If Your Voice Shakes.

I look at my posts and I see seven drafts sitting there waiting to be publishes. Patiently or not, they exist as words for no one to see but holders of a password: I'd like to believe that is just me, but in today's day and age, I really have no idea. Now I've obviously been thinking, maybe not apparent to you, but visible to the drafts. Some of them could be minuscule notes about meaningless nothings because I haven't quite figured out every little tool on my computer. It's a process. Much like life. Learning from mistakes, certain keys and combinations create mass destruction and chaos, or even experiences we can take with us to use in life from what we've learned on said device.
Now, I do love the small things we learn when we least expect it. Thinking out loud, talking to strangers, having meaningless conversations about what if and how comes with the closest of friends that mean more than they understand.
I used to fear companionship and all the little things with it. Now, I've started to realize that the isolation can drive a (wo)man crazy. Thinking about paradoxical information and relaying them between each nerve ending in our brains; like we can even begin to comprehend how it all works. It's mysterious in an odd yet, comforting way. The fear of unknowing and the chase to find answers. Together as one, or perfectly logical alone. Yet life will eventually hold both at the same time.
Life is borderline paradoxical. Striving for perfection but never realizing the imperfections are what make us perfect, for the only form of perfection is imperfection. I'm making a notion that it should now be known as per-fiction due to it's complete lack in truth. Fighting to fit in by not fitting in with the population. We live to die. Simple as that. It's a battle at times, but no one ever said life was easy. You hear words like successful, short and long, worthwhile, meaningless or terrible. Hard might come up when you're feeling down about a failed relationship, the loss of a job, hell even over a sour comment from a passerby that means nothing but wasted air space.
I'm sure I'm ranting now and I'd love to keep going, so if you don't mind, I don't give a damn. Some things will never change. Hopefully I won't.
One last thing on this rant: All you have in your physical life is a name. Once your dead it doesn't mean anything. Sure you might have a legacy, but people forget things.

I've now decided to combine the several, which I believe has reached the double digits, drafts. Spring cleaning in late October. I don't usually censor myself, but I need some material for tomorrow, or tomorrow's tomorrow.

"Most people might have thought I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, but in actuality, I woke up on the wrong side of my mind. The mania has set in and there's nothing I can really do about it, so I'm going to do what I know how to do best.

I thought I proved everything I needed to for you, but I realized it's all one-sided. I hope it's not, but in the end, it really is us against the world. Though I know from the start it was incredibly weird and awkward, but it felt real. The truest feelings I'd ever had shown through my eyes. Your smile made me freeze dead in my tracks and my heart skipped a beat. I struggled to get back in sync, and then you were gone. Left speechless and trapped, I couldn't figure out what I was feeling. Then it hit me like a train."

To be completely honest, I'm not sure who that was written for or about, but it was in March. Still doesn't help, really. Oh how I'd kill for those feelings again, whoever you were. I'm not even sure where I was going with it.

I took the title from this draft for this post.

""Pythagoras believed that the universe was fundamentally mathematical by nature, and that the planets and stars danced along to "a harmony of the spheres." Basically, since musical notes can be translated mathematically, Pythagoras thought the workings of nature marched to the beat of a grand cosmic mathematical symphony."

So by the abstract, hypothetical, syllogistic principles:
The universe is math. Music is math. Therefore music is the key to the universe.
...or something like that. Nights turning into dawn...
A wise man once said, ‎"...and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."

I am what I am. I am what I think. I think therefore I am.
I'm sure that might make a bit more sense to you now, and a little bit more to some readers than others [none readers].
Right now I am scatterbrained. I think I'm scatterbrained. Therefore this will be another random rambling."

Well that's really it other than two similarly related posts, unrelated to this one. There's another one from four years ago, of which I'm sure will sit there for even longer than I originally expected.