Just Give Me A Terminal Illness Already.

So it seems I've hit rock bottom again. I shouldn't be depressed--I have a lot of things going for me right now. Well I thought I did.
I have a job, I have friends, I have a girlfriend, I have photography, I have nothing. I guess there lies my problem. I have a job I hate, I have friends I can't count on, I have a girlfriend that I'm not sure if we're even completely serious for certain reasons, I have photography only when there's a show at this point.
Normally I don't break down and announce how depressed I really am, but when I feel like this, there is nothing more for me to do. I know no one will read this, so I guess I see the comfort in writing something for people to read only if they check this daily.

Yesterday was an awful day. I felt completely alone and abandoned. I spent the majority of my time in silence riding a skateboard aimlessly. Everyone I called didn't answer, and if they did were already busy.
Today was nice, but I still felt like shit. I exchanged presents with my girlfriend but in the middle of it, her other boyfriend called. I wish she would just break it off with him already, or else I might have to call it quits, which sucks because I really enjoy being with her. She makes me happy, but when I think about the situation I really want to apply for a concealed weapon license.
I've fallen into a repetitive cycle where I just give up on myself and everyone around me. The worst part about it, everyone notices. They ask me if I'm alright and I of course lie my ass off so I don't have to explain to them how fucked up I really am. I figure if they don't bother informing me of important things going on in their life, why should I give them the hour of the day when all they will do is try to sympathize or empathize. I don't want sympathy or empathy or the hour of the day from anyone. Which is ironic because if someone reads this, they will of course ask if I'm alright or if there is anything they can do to help.